Do you still love me?
by daniebanaanie1999
Summary: A little emotional, fluffy propunk for a change. Sarah confessing her love to Rachel.


Sarah woke up from the sound of her lover's voice, saying her name over and over again until she moved to lay more comfertable. She yawned and opened her eyes slowly, actually preferring to sleep more than to wake up, even if that meant she could enjoy Rachel's company again. She looked right in those hazel beauties, which were so much like her own but at the same time entirely different. The same colour and expression, but they didn't feel familiar at all. They belonged to a whole other person, to her. To her Rachel.

Rachel gazed rather curiously at her.

"Morning," Sarah said, as she turned to her belly and nuzzled her face in the to-Rachel-smelling pillows. Rachel replied with the same greet.

"Goodmorning, Sarah."

The British girl smiled at her and closed her eyes again, but Rachel put her hand on Sarah's shoulder. This was enough to let her moan like a hungry zombie and keep her eyes open. Rachel wanted to talk, to let her make breakfast or whatever she wanted her to do and she would defenitely not be able to sleep anymore because with one touch, Sarah knew what to do.

"What is it, Rach?" she asks, rather annoyedly. Rachel raised her eyebrows a bit and tilted her head, observing her lover's answer. For Rachel, Sarah was as much as a mystery as she was when they first met. A fierce mystery that more looked and fought like a lioness than a human, with an incredible perseverance she had never seen before. Since their first meeting, Rachel Duncan was determined to unravel Sarah Manning. But even after all this time. After all the bad and the, Rachel had to admit, good moments they had shared, Sarah was still as much of a mystery to her as she had been the day they met.

"Do you still love me?" Rachel asked.

Sarah almost choked on her own spit when she tried to swallow.

"What?" she coughed, trying to catch some air again. Rachel put her nose up in the air and licked her lips slowly, missing the usual taste of her lipstick.

"I think I made myself perfectly clear," she said coldly. "Do you still love me?"

Sadly, she had to ask a question like this from time to time. Rachel still had no idea how to interpret Sarah and didn't know how her current lover thought about her. She could easily read other people. Some admired her, some were afraid of her, some hated her and some were willingly to do everything for her. People were easy to manipulate, easy to control. Everyone always did exactly what she wanted and if they didn't, she made sure they did. That's how she kept her power, that's why she was the CEO of DYAD. But she had never been able to control Sarah. At least, not the way she did with Daniel or Martin or even Leekie. Sarah was the wild type. The one who even fought when she had her safely captured and chained in a room. She would fight 'till she bleeded, lick her wounds like a hurt kitten and then fight again with the strenght of that lioness inside of her. It was something Rachel never understood. She admitted, she didn't understand a single bit of Sarah.

It took her a few days to realize she would never control Sarah the way she would control Daniel. She could make Daniel fear her, do things for her because he was scared. Sarah would never be scared of her. Such a pity. But Rachel wasn't stupid. To frighten the people was the easiest way. To just walk into their room, point at them and say: "You're mine now." That would never work on Sarah. She would always resist, fight and try to break free whenever she saw a chance to escape. Rachel had to work her way in on a different way, a more diffecult way. She had to make Sarah to trust her. To invite her into that personal room, open the door and let her in instead of breaking in and demand coöperation.

It took Rachel a while to make Sarah thrust her. A lot of texts, phones and meetings. First, Sarah didn't even wanted to talk to her when she called. A few times, they found the cheap phones they bought a few days ago in their mailbox, broken, slammed with a hammer. But after what felt like the hundreds attempt, Sarah started to pick up the phone. Answer the texts. Even appear at the meeting when Rachel kindly asked her to come and visit one day. And slowly, but surely, Rachel made her way in. Sarah thrusted her. It has taken her months, but she thrusted her. And it was one of the greatest victories Rachel Duncan ever achieved.

They weren't friends though. Rachel Duncan didn't need friends and Sarah Manning didn't want a friend who was as cold and threatening as Rachel. But they still met. And at their meetings, Rachel would ask her to coöperate, over a bourbon. Sarah refused the first few times immediately, but after a while, she started to doubt. It took her longer to answer and her voice didn't sound so sure anymore as it did before. Rachel was winning. And she won, after some time. Sarah agreed. She wanted to coöperate, willingly. If Kira and her beloved friends and family were safe, out of DYAD's reach. Of course, the clones would never be out of Rachel's reach, but she was willing to promise Kira's and Siobhan's and Cal's and whoever else she named to be safe. Losing Kira was a big loss, but when the time was there, Rachel would convice Sarah to bring her daughter to DYAD, just as she convinced her to coöperate.

The day Sarah signed her the contract, was also the day of their first kiss, surprisingly enough. Once Sarah had signed the contract, Rachel took it away and bowed foreward, her eyebrows raised in an inviting way. Sarah didn't lean away and tilted her head a little bit. A long story short; they kissed. A kiss to seal the contract. And after that, they became closer. Not in a friendship kind of way. But a lover's way. And now, months later, they laid in Rachel's bed, safe in her apartment, waking up from a rough night full activities that should not be named.

"Rachel.." Sarah sighed, snapping her lover back to reality. The memories faded and Rachel looked at her Sarah again. She seemed as uncomfertable as Rachel had been when she asked the question.

"Of course I love you. Why would you doubt that, you silly tit?" Sarah said, kind of offensed. "I don't think you exactly know how love works Rachel."

Rachel raised her eyebrows, daring Sarah to continue, but she ignored her. Was it true? Did she don't know what love is? It didn't matter, Rachel concluded. Sarah continued.

"If you love eachother, you won't stop loving eachother just like that. It's not like turning on a light-switch, yeah? Rachel, I love you," Sarah takes a deep breath," I like you and I never expected that too. And I won't stop loving you for a very long time, even after you don't feel anything for me anymore, if you already feel anything for me. I might always feel something for you, even if I don't want too."

She thought to see the glimpse of a tear in the corner of Rachel's eyes, but her lover blinked quickly and the emotions were ereased once again, like she always did when things got too emotional. More often, lately, things started to become more emotion for Rachel. Sarah hoped she could break through those thick layers of narcism, because she hated this kind of behaviour of the blonde.

"It's not the same kind love, but it's the same with Ethan. He also loved you, even when you two were seperated for more than twenty years. Just like I will."

Rachel's expression grew cold. Her eyes fixed on her lover but not letting any of her emotions through. Sarah gulped, noticing she said something wrong. The tears that were visible only moments ago were replaced for the cold, harsh experssion Rachel wore every day, every hour, ever moment if she could. Sarah wanted to avoid that expression.

"My father left for his own, selfish reason," Rachel said.

"He loved you, Rachel," Sarah said demanding, forcing Rachel with those fierce, hazel eyes to believe her. "Just like I love you. But I'm even more selfish, because I want to keep you all to myself. You're mine."

Rachel's facial expression hardened. She wasn't happy to hear that Sarah claimed her. Of course, in a lovers-kind of way. But she wasn't used to hear that people owned her. Leekie had owned her for years, until she became more powerful than he actually was. And now she's claimed by some British scum she hooked up with a few times. How low did she sank?

Sarah didn't seem to notice.

"And I'm yours," she added, which made Rachel raise her eyebrows. She tried to hide her enthousiasm, her pride. Sarah admitted. She admitted she was Rachels and no one elses. Sarah let her in, invited her into her personal chamber and was even happy she was around. Rachel won.

"I will never leave you. You're stuck with me, yeah?" Sarah said. Rachel licked her lips, still missing her lipstick and nodded slightly. It felt uncomfertable to agree on something Sarah said, but for now, it was the most easy thing to do. She could worry about this later, with a freshly applied layer of make-up and dressed in a fancy dress with some pointed heels. Sarah wouldn't even listen to her while they laid in bed, only in their lingerie.

"So yes, I do still love you," Sarah smiled, as she bowed foreward for a kiss. Her lips tasted like... well, like Sarah. It was the only way to discribe it. Their own special taste that Rachel preferred above anything else. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to enjoy this moment. Their kiss became passionate, with Sarah draping her arm around Rachel's neck to pull her closer. Their lips never leaving eachother except for a breath. Sarah smiled against her lover's lips as Rachel placed her rather cold hand on her cheek, stroking the soft skin with the points of her fingertips. When they let go, their foreheads rested on eachother's, their lips still inches removed of the other's.

"Now go make us breakfast," Rachel said, a bit out of breath. Sarah chuckled and rolled her eyes, but her big grin betrayed that she could've seen this coming.

"Aye-aye, captain. Some scrambled eggs for my queen," she joked, as she climbed out of bed and made her way to the kitchen. Rachel tilted her head and took her time to watch Sarah walk in her underwear to fridge and started to pull out some random ingredients that could never make a breakfast. She sighed and tried to force herself to make her heart stop racing, her body slightly trembling and all the other prints the kiss left on her body. It was harder than usual and she wondered if Sarah had anything to do with it. She liked the girl, surprisingly enough. Admired her fierceness. And she was good if she needed a night off of her busy life. But love? Rachel didn't know. But that was, also, something to worry about another time. Because now, she had to prevent Sarah from blowing up her kitchen.


End file.
